


Dating On The Job

by OccasionalWriterHD



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Minor Violence, Other, Prompt Fic, haha gay space rocks, idk what else to tag honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OccasionalWriterHD/pseuds/OccasionalWriterHD
Summary: Peridot suggests going on a double date with Bismuth and Pearl. Surely they would have a nice, romantic time.Well, if going on a mission to round up some corrupted gems who outnumber them 7 to 4 on a distant planet that is practically dying on itself counts as a lovely double date then Peridot definitely is the best date planner ever. Knowing the Crystal Gems, they can probably make it work without anyone getting poofed or shattered. Right?This is a prompt fic!Prompt: Lapis and Peridot go on a double date with another pair in the series
Relationships: Bismuth/Pearl (Steven Universe), Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	Dating On The Job

**Author's Note:**

> A/N I don't know if this strays waaaaaay too far from the prompt but I wanted to make something different that would fit the whole eccentric and wild energy the Crystal Gems have. Enjoy!
> 
> Constructive criticism is always greatly appreciated! :)

A beam of light shot down onto the warp pad, leaving 4 gems in its wake. They were sent to this planet for a rescue mission. The ominous atmosphere was suffocating and the place they were in was dark and bleak. Tall, looming rock formations towered over the team and the rocky terrain was devoid of any signs of life. 

“So much for a double date...who even decided that going on a recovery mission to capture escaped corrupted gems would be a good idea for a date?” Pearl let out a sigh as she scanned the area. Pearl winced at the sight in front of her; the planet’s resources have been depleted to the point where it was a miracle it was still standing. Large cracks ran across the land, leading to large canyons that stretched on for miles. 

“Technically this is a date. According to my research-” 

“You mean reading you CPH fan fiction and then searching up what a date means?” Lapis giggled as Peridot grumbled with annoyance, her face blushing from embarrassment. 

“As I was saying, a date technically means spending time with a potential partner. Since both of us couples have long passed that stage, this is certainly a date!” Peridot waved her index finger knowingly. 

“Sure...then again is this crippled planet a good pick for a double date tiny?” Bismuth chuckled and hopped of the warp pad and gave the ground below her a few experimental kicks, chunks of rock dislodged from the ground effortlessly and scattered across the terrain. 

“Well, I... I mean this technically- It's still-” Peridot tugged at her hair as she came to the realization that she had indeed planned this double date horribly. Peridot continued to stutter gibberish until Lapis gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. 

“It’s fine Peri we were just joking with you, like you said it’s the people that are important not where or what we are doing,” Lapis ruffled the gremlin’s blond hair affectionately while Peridot clutched her tablet tightly against her chest. 

“She’s right Peridot. I’m sure we can make this situation “romantic” either way.” Pearl reassured Peridot as she clung onto Bismuth’s arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

“Enough sappy talk, we have some corrupted gems to bubble!” Bismuth announced proudly. Bismuth picked up Pearl and carried her on her shoulder as she jumped down into the canyons, leaving Lapis and Peridot to snigger at Bismuth and Pearl’s battle cry as they plummeted into the depths below. 

“Shall we? My brave tiny Peridot?” Lapis gave a bow as she extended a hand out to Peridot, offering a ride down the canyon. 

“You charm me Lazuli,” Peridot giggled as she hopped onto Lapis’ back. Water wings began to form and Lapis dived into the canyon below, Peridot letting out screams of excitement as they charged down. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The canyon was surprisingly well lit despite it going down quite deep. The team wandered around the canyon aimlessly as they tracked down the gems they were looking for. Peridot managed to locate a trail and they have been following it for an hour. Judging by the marks left by the corrupted gems Peridot deducted that there were about 6 nay, 7 gems to be taken down and bubbled. The 4 of them continued to follow the said trail, moving further and further into the undiscovered planet. Even though the atmosphere was not the friendliest, the 4 gems were somehow flirting with their partners, thankfully Steven and the others were not here to see such unprofessionalism. 

“I’m telling you Lazuli we will finish this mission in no time. Thanks to my intellectual prowess I deduct we will be facing those gems soon!” Peridot beamed as she adjusted her visor and plugged in a few numbers into her tablet. The little gremlin may sound arrogant or cocky to some but her intellect certainly was not a force to be reckoned with. Plus, she was only trying to show off to her favorite Lapis Lazuli who was acknowledging Peridot’s word vomit with sounds of agreement and head nods. 

“Stars Lapis how do you stand Peridot’s non-stop rambling. She’s been at it for like the entire day,” Pearl let out an exasperated sigh. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Pearl,” Lapis wrapped an arm around Peridot. “Peri’s cute so whatever she does just becomes cute.” Lapis gave Peridot a wink. 

“Probably have to agree with Lapis, Peridot’s pretty endearing once you get used to her science talk,” Bismuth let out a chuckle as she too wrapped an arm around Pearl, mirroring Lapis. 

“See! Even Bismuth agrees I’m awesome!” Peridot stuck her tongue out enthusiastically at Pearl who was now staring wide-eyed at Bismuth. 

“Bismuth! I can’t believe you actually find that enjoyable I-...I-” Pearl was at a loss for words. The team erupted into fits of laughter as they continued following the trail. 

“If it helps...” Bismuth leaned over next to Pearl. “I enjoy your rambling more than Peri’s” 

Pearl felt her face warm up from the comment and opted to just hold onto Bismuth’s arm. 

“I'm flattered Bismuth, besides, you’re not too bad yourself,” Playful banter was exchanged between the two as they followed behind Peridot and Lapis who were also engaging in their own flirtatious conversation. The team arrived at a large crater; the squad leaned over the side to peer down into the hole. 

“Fascinating. I say this is approximately 90 feet deep judging from where we are standing," Peridot lifted her hand and began to use it as some form of measurement. “Around 36 feet wide...It looks like some giant exit hole but it’s whatever. I’m sure the gems we are after are down there!” Peridot pointed towards the bottom of the crater dramatically as she looked down at the crater, trying to find a possible route of dissent. 

“Well, here goes nothing,” Bismuth exclaimed. “Off you go tiny!” And with that, Bismuth gave Peridot a hearty shove that sent her tumbling off the edge of the cliff. “AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Peridot’s scream echo throughout the canyon. After a comedic amount of time, a loud thud could be heard. 

“Well that’s our cue, "Bismuth chuckled as she leaped down to join Peridot. Pearl followed suit and Lapis flew down to meet them. 

“How’s the floor tasting like tiny?” Bismuth joked as she plucked Peridot off the floor using her tuff of hair. 

“Dry; like your sense of humor" Peridot spat the dirt out of her mouth and wiggled out of Bismuth’s grasp. “Now my hair is messed up you clod” 

“Guys?” Pearl called out. 

“Calm down tiny, you rock your new look" Bismuth reached out to further mess up Peridot’s hair. 

“Bismuth’s right you know, you look cute~" Lapis purred while running her hand through Peridot’s already messy hair. 

“Guys???" Pearl said with rising urgency. Turning around to face her teammates. 

“I uhh...” Peridot blushed from the compliment and turned to face away from Lapis, bending down to pick up her tablet on the floor. 

“What’s wrong Peri? Lost for words?" Lapis continued to tease as Peridot became increasingly more flustered. 

“GUYS!” Pearl screamed. 

“WHAT?” Everyone else replied back in unison as they turned to face Pearl. 

“We’ve got company...” Pearl turned to point towards something ahead of the group. Everyone focused their attention to whatever Pearl was pointing at. Out of the corners of the rock formations, shadowy figures emerged from behind the rocks. The corrupted gems slowly edged forward and approached the team. As the 4 gems prepared to take down the 3 corrupted gems in front of them, a low growl could be heard behind them. 

“Heh...looks like there’s more of them. Pearl and I will handle the 4 brutes behind us. Lapis, make sure Peridot there doesn’t get poofed. Oh, and don’t drown us." Bismuth leaped into action with Pearl right beside her. Bismuth rushed herself into the group of gems, scattering them as Pearl began to maneuver around the fallen gems. 

“You heard her Peri, lets bubble some gems!" Lapis summoned her water wings and shaped them into fists. She took a battle stance as Peridot stayed close behind her. The 3 gems began to advance closer to Lapis and Peridot. A Ruby lunged at the pair, aiming for the slightly less intimidating Peridot. Lapis swept her away with one of her water appendages which sent her flying. 

On the other side of the battlefield, Bismuth and Pearl fought the gems with practiced ease, Bismuth manages to push the gems away, separating them from one another while Pearl picks them off one by one with her spear. 

“Alright this is getting boring, lets crank things up a notch!" Bismuth called out to Pearl who was happy with the chance to try out something new. As she made her way to Bismuth, she kicked away an Amethyst which sent her flying into a wall. 

“So, what’s this plan you have?" Pearl questioned as she shot her laser at a shorter Amethyst not too far away. 

“I read this book that Connie lent me the other day, I couldn’t really read the human text but the picture’s looked pretty cool," Bismuth recalled as she shapeshifted one of her hands into a saw; effectively using it to slice through a small Ruby and poofing it. 

“There's a knight who rides on some sort of earth organic while fighting off opponents, "Bismuth picked up the Ruby and placed it in a rainbow-hued bubble, sending it off with a tap. “Not sure if it’s the same but I’m one hundo-percent sure I can carry you.” 

“It does sound like an effective strategy..." Pearl shot 3 more lasers at the small Amethyst who had yet to destabilize her form. “It also sounds kind off...fun in a way" 

“Well then," Bismuth dusted her hands before offering one out to Pearl and mock bowing. “Shall we? My noble knight?" 

Pearl could not help but giggle as Bismuth’s ministrations before accepting her hand. “We shall Bismuth, we shall." Pearl hoisted herself onto Bismuth and rested her weight on her shoulder. The pair looked at the opponents in front of them. The taller Amethyst and the second Ruby prepared to attack the incoming duo while the smaller Amethyst was recovering from her laser shots. With a loud cry, the two pairs charged towards each other. 

Lapis and Peridot were not having as much fun as the other two. The planet was dry and lacked any source of water. Although present the traces of metal was also sparse and were embedded deep into the ground. The corrupted Nephrite summoned small Centipeetles that began to swarm Lapis and Peridot. 

“Uhh Peri use your trash can lid or something to flick them away," Lapis managed to block some of the Centipeetle acid using her water wings while Peridot just awkwardly side-stepped, watching the acid corrode the ground below her. 

“I uh... I left my trashcan at the greenhouse," Peridot let out an embarrassed chuckle. 

“You WHAT?" Lapis yelled while starring daggers at Peridot. 

“The god damn raccoons were digging through the garbage and they were messing with my cables and my stuff and... and, well. It’s a trash can lid I had to do it!" Peridot shuddered at the thought of those damn pesky raccoons. Somethings about them just put a scowl on her face. 

Lapis turned around completely, looking Peridot dead in the eye. Peridot was now contemplating whether or not the raccoons or an angry Lapis Lazuli as your girlfriend was scarier. “Sorry to hear about that sweetie. Leave the lid there, you did well." Lapis reassured, placing her hand on Peridot’s shoulder. Those damn raccoons... 

Before they could discuss more about those vile creatures, a corrupted Jasper began to charge at the pair. Lapis flinched while Peridot managed to shove both of them away from the Jasper’s direct line of attack. Lapis flinched once again from hearing the Jasper’s beastly cry. 

“Stars why do all Jaspers look so damn alike when they are corrupted" Lapis spat as she prepared herself for the next attack. Before she knew it, the Nephrite managed to sneak up behind them and bit down onto Peridot. She let out a disgruntled shriek and began to kick and punch at the large worm. 

Meanwhile, Bismuth and Pearl were running around enthusiastically. The pair had managed to come up with some sort of strategy. Bismuth charged headfirst into the trio of gems in front of her; This time, she managed to hit the last Ruby and the taller Amethyst. Pearl got to work as she began firing lasers at the disorientated pair, knocking them off their feet. With that, Pearl leaped into the air, delivering a finishing swipe with her spear which finished both the gems. Pearl and Bismuth both took one gem each and bubbled them, sending them safely to the temple. 

“3 down 1 more-" Before Pearl could finish her sentence, a loud roar could be heard high above them. The two gems looked up to see another Ruby, flying through the air – soaking wet – before crash landing in front of them. They both gave a confused yet amused look to the Ruby who was now in a Ruby sized hole, twitching and letting out pained grunts. 

“Looks like Lapis sent over some of her workload," Bismuth chuckled before putting the poor gem out of its misery. 

“LAPIS HEEEEEELP!" Peridot’s squirming was no use as the Nephrite continued to chomp down on Peridot’s torso. The acid was beginning to drip down and Peridot could feel sharp stings from where the spit landed. Thankfully Lapis was able to hear Peridot’s distress calls and rushed to her aid. While the Nephrite continued to chew on Peridot’s poor body Lapis was able to sneak behind it. The Nephrite was picked up from the tail using Lapis' water hand and was lifted high into the air. 

Lapis began to shake the poor creature, trying to get it to drop the poor gremlin stuck in her mouth. Lapis waved her hand, slamming the Nephrite into the ground as an attempt to poof it. After a few more good hits, the Nephrite lost its form and poofed. Lapis jogged up to Peridot was covered in acidic spit. 

“You feeling okay there Peri?" Lapis was relieved to hear faint mumbling from the small gem who gave her a shaky thumbs-up. Just as the two were recovering from their high they felt a large impact from their side. The two gems were sent flying into a wall and Lapis’ limp body fell beside Peridot’s. Lapis' eyes fluttered awake to see a hazy figure standing there. With a squint, Lapis was able to make out the Jasper’s beastly form ready to finish them off. 

The Jasper began to run at them at full speed, mouth agape and horns facing forward. Lapis pulled Peridot’s body closer as an attempt to shield her and she braced for impact. Before the Jasper could reach them, a loud shout was heard. 

Bismuth chucked the last Amethyst at the Jasper which knocked the Jasper off her feet while the Amethyst poofed upon impact. Bismuth gave Lapis a wide smirk and a thumbs up while Pearl rushed over to try and bubble the Amethyst. Lapis managed to stand and hobbled over to Bismuth. 

“Figured you two would need help on your first official team rescue mission," sniggered as she gave Lapis a gentle punch. 

“C’mon Bismuth me and Peri have faced corrupted gems before. Usually, we would at least have some water or metal..." Lapis mumbled the last part. Before Bismuth could reply she looked up to see the Jasper, once again charging straight for them. The Jasper was too close for them to react, Bismuth and Lapis raised their arms, preparing for the worst. 

“RAAAA-" The loud roar was cut short. The beast fell onto the ground, letting out a soft whimper before leaving in a cloud of smoke. The gemstone fell with a “clink" followed by glass shared and a broken tablet. 

Everyone quickly glanced to the side. There laid Peridot, panting like crazy with her arm still in the air laying in the same spot where she was before. Peridot let out a mischievous snigger before faceplanting with the ground in exhaustion, the trio let out a contented sigh as they rushed over to Peridot. 

“Heh...I forgot I had my tablet,” Peridot nuzzled into the crook of Lapis’ arm, happy to be held by her favorite gem after an intense fight

"Sorry about your tablet Peri, we'll get you a new one," Lapis looked at the shattered tablet a few meters away. Yup, Peridot definitely needs a new one.

“I guess this date went pretty okay," Pearl commented, happily sending off the bubbled Jasper. 

“Yea, I honestly expected at least one of us to get poofed," Bismuth chortled. “Turns out tiny here is a pretty good date planner after all.” 

“I am?" Peridot slurred. She was still a little dizzy from all the action earlier. 

Lapis let out a giggle and planed a kiss onto Peridot’s gemstone. “Yea Peri, you are a good date planner."

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Heh. Writing that was a train wreck. This definitely isn't one of my proudest works because I only had about slightly over a week to finish this (Because my dumb ass didn't know there was a challenge going on) hence, I couldn't really go through my usual checking and editing. Still, this was really fun!
> 
> Tell me what you guys think because honestly at the part where I started mentioning raccoons I have already basically lost my mind.
> 
> Have a nice week ahead :D


End file.
